Publisher: Kelsay Books (September 7, 2023)
Language: English
Paperback: 64 pages
ISBN-13: 978 1639803279
5 Stars
I have had the marvelous opportunity to see Ms. Stawowy read a few times at various Zoom venues, and when her new book came out, I couldn’t wait to order and read it. The book tells the story of her mother’s decline into dementia and discovering the secrets in her birth certificate. It is written in 4 parts: A letter to her Ancestors, then parts I Biological Family 1924, II Adoptive Family 1925 – 1960, and lastly III Fractured Family 1960 – 2018.
The letter, Dear Ancestors, introduces us to secrets, “So secret, if I could speak directly to you through soup cans, / the twine would spontaneously ignite.”
Harry the Barber: Shotgun Wedding in Retrospect, begins Part I. And right off the bat, he blames the woman, it’s her responsibility to keep track of periods, to not get knocked up, to say no. Then we have poems by Bertha, the long-suffering wife, and Faye, the other woman. Then, the women get their say. The letter from the advice columnist is pretty true to the day.
All poems begin with the name of the person telling/writing the poem. And if you should happen to get confused, Ms. Stowawy put an easily read Family Tree in the back.
Part II begins with a poem ‘by’ Fred: Counterfeit Father. He is part of the reasons for secrets as he begins, “When people examine the birth certificate, I want / no suspicions, no casting of aspersions. No one / thinking: rotten parents, rotten offspring. Everything / should look innocent as the infant herself.”
Part III is more about Doris: Looking Back and Doris’s War: Dementia and Doris: Return to the High Seas. It isn’t until then we meet Margaret as Me: Daughter of Doris, Dear Mom, // After you died, I saw you / wrapped in a puncture-proof plastic, // You, Mother Mary/Kali, / angel/destroyer, // … // You once asked me to find / the parents who gave you away. / …// where I can her you. Them.”
The last poem, Fern: Remarrying My Parents, / I Have Mending the Ending. Fern a daughter of Berta and Harry, brings them back together, has them married posthumously in the Mormon Church. She is, “…the needle, the thread. // I have mended the ending.”
This book is a fascinating read of family and family interactions. Especially when some of those interactions are meant to be and stay, secret. And how DNA and the www. can become powerful search tools.
Heartedly recommend this book.