Dying Well – Peace and Possibilities at
the End of Life – Ira Byock, M.D.
Nonfiction
299 Pages
Footnotes/Endnotes: No
Illustrations: No
Suitable for eReaders: Yes
5 Stars
Dr. Byock's dream is that all of us, when we reach the end,
should have the chance to Die Well. He has dedicated his life to that end, and
I am grateful.
All of us will die, hopefully not for a long
time, but we all will die. And we should have the opportunity to die well,
where we want (my mother wanted to die in the hospital, her brother in my
home), surrounded by those we love and who love us, and to die free of pain,
free of smells, and filled with dignity.
This book contains the stories of several people and their
deaths. Dr. Byock starts off on a personal note, about the death of his father, and
what he learned as both a son and a doctor.
There is nothing morbid in this book. In fact, quite the
opposite. As I read the stories, and shed tears in some, I remembered something
I read years ago by Father John Powell, SJ. While in Seminary, he needed to
visit the infirmary for some minor ailment, and the Brother was tucking in two
of the priests who were admitted. One was a real grump and short tempered, the
other was an old sweetheart, and kind and thankful. I vaguely remember that
both were dying, but not sure. At any rate, Fr. Powell decided at that time
that he had a choice. He could be either of those two old priests, when it was
his turn to die and the choice was up to him.
I'm relatively sure we all have our day dreams (night
mares?) of what it will be like when we die, and how we will do it, but how many of us have taken
care of terminally ill loved ones? How many of us have any idea of what will
happen let alone how it will happen?
Dr. Byock lists five things he recommends to those of his
patients and their families who are terminally ill. I recommend they be
considered now, while we are (hopefully) in relative good health. He goes into
detail in Chapter Seven, Writing a Personal Script for Dying: Steve Morris (not
his real name) but I will list them here. Something to think about now – I
forgive you, please forgive me, Thank you, I love you, and Goodbye.
That script is geared for those who know they are dying and
have time. But I know from experience, it's good to think on them, and discuss
them earlier. There is not always time. Death can come quickly and quietly in the middle of
the night and too often, there is unfinished business and a brick load of
guilt after. I suggest you let your loved ones know now, and often, how much
you love and appreciate them, in case Death comes on a whisper when least
expected. You will feel better if you do.
If you have thought of death (and who hasn't?) – either your own or someone's
close to you – I strongly recommend this book. There are places where you may
even laugh out loud. And tears are healing. The more you know, the less fear
there will be.
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